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2026-04-04

Perfect Repair Day

All 12 conflicts resolved — avg recovery 9 min, max 46 min, 0 unresolved.

Transcript (tap to expand)

[2026-04-04 06:07:00] Dave: Audio Message.caf Transcription: Good morning sunshine I am on my way. Stupid ass gym not loving that actually feeling about it. I'm not loving how fucking rainy it is though storming all night. Well, not all night but for the last hour and it's like seriously flash flooding up this place There's standing water like all over the sidewalks are covered where I'm at at the stoplight like I was driving in the middle of the road Like on my road Was spraying water like from both sides of the car cause the road is so flooded place is fucking ridiculous So yeah, I hope you slept well I went to sleep thinking about you and woke up thinking about you so did there I slept well I think I told the thunderstorms sorry for being an asshole I hope you did too. I'm glad you got to work out yesterday and walk the dogs. That's pretty impressive. I hope you ordered some good stuff from Amazon Not while you're asleep, but while you're still awake, anyway, I'm about to pull up in the gym So I hope you have a great day and I want you to know that I love you and I cannot wait to see you. It's getting so close since it's gonna be great. And I can't wait to hear your voice say baby
[2026-04-04 06:11:00] Sam Willis: Morning baby
[2026-04-04 06:11:00] Sam Willis: Have fun at the gym! Proud of you
[2026-04-04 06:11:00] Dave: Bro
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Sam Willis: I just had a dream that a bunch of us got laid off and all we got was a $50 gift card to old navy to buy new clothes to interview for another job. Lmao
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Dave: I just drove through water so fucking deep it went up over the hood
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Sam Willis: OVER THE HOOD?!?
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Dave: Lmao
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Sam Willis: Dave don’t drive through that!!!!
[2026-04-04 06:12:00] Dave: Yeah, I’ll send you the dash cam later
[2026-04-04 06:13:00] Dave: Well no shit, Sherlock. I didn’t KNOW it was that deep
[2026-04-04 06:13:00] Sam Willis: Is it still raining?
[2026-04-04 06:13:00] Dave: Well no shit, Sherlock. I didn’t KNOW it was that deep
[2026-04-04 06:14:00] Sam Willis: Now I’m going to be all worried about you getting home!
[2026-04-04 06:14:00] Sam Willis: Text me when you do please
[2026-04-04 06:14:00] Sam Willis: Be careful!!
[2026-04-04 06:15:00] Dave: Haha, no it’s fine. It was just that one intersection
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Sam Willis: Says you!!!
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Sam Willis: I still need to know.
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Sam Willis: Hmph
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Sam Willis: Have a good workout
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Dave: I will sweetie!
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Dave: Txt you
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Dave: And have a good workout
[2026-04-04 06:16:00] Sam Willis: I love you
[2026-04-04 06:17:00] Dave: Love you 😘
[2026-04-04 07:45:00] Dave: Home 👍
[2026-04-04 08:37:00] Sam Willis: LOLOL omfg this is so Texas Ha! Do you remember me telling you I saw an actual freakin tumbleweed lol? It was in January
[2026-04-04 08:37:00] Sam Willis: LOLOL omfg this is so Texas
[2026-04-04 08:38:00] Sam Willis: Broooooo!!!😲
[2026-04-04 08:38:00] Sam Willis: Broooooo!!!😲
[2026-04-04 08:38:00] Sam Willis: That’s insane
[2026-04-04 08:45:00] Sam Willis: *gulp*
[2026-04-04 09:24:00] Dave: Right?! I legit panicked for a hot second there
[2026-04-04 09:24:00] Dave: Right?! I legit panicked for a hot second there
[2026-04-04 09:27:00] Sam Willis: I bet!! That’s nuts
[2026-04-04 09:47:00] Sam Willis: I need to get moving with my day but I don’t want tooooo
[2026-04-04 09:53:00] Sam Willis: I love how you said you went to bed and woke up thinking about me “and so did bear” 😂❤️
[2026-04-04 09:57:00] Dave: Heheh 🤭
[2026-04-04 09:57:00] Dave: What have you got going on today?
[2026-04-04 09:59:00] Sam Willis: I don’t even know! So many possibilities! lol
[2026-04-04 09:59:00] Sam Willis: Getting ready to start dog walks now though
[2026-04-04 10:06:00] Sam Willis: Transcription: Good morning how was the gym? I decided I'm gonna walk the three dogs separately this morning and I'm taking Levi first and I normally take Levi and Lexi together and Lexi is pissed. I mean, barking throwing a freaking fit. I just cannot handle being pulled anymore. I really can't and then God forbid they see a dog like and they're not like it's just freaking. They just act so stupid can come but then individually they act like normal freaking dogs so yeah, I'm not doing it anymore. Oh my God, I'm hacking and coughing like normal so they're gonna say so. What am I doing today? I do not know but we don't have the kids. I have no set plans so there's so many possibilities. So I have had a briefcase filled with Chaz's dad's documents for like Years and Whenever he died like the dad just never got in the back and he lives up in Canada and so anyway, like it has had these documents cause his dad lived with him like freaking like a decade to go at this freaking point and so anyway it's like retired passports old, like job resumes. I don't even know what's in there, but like some of it is like pretty official but He's obviously not needing it and he's obviously not coming to get it so I think UPS offers like free. I don't know nothing free but like secure shedding so I might just like bring this whole fucking briefcase there and be like can you just shred all this shit I don't know is that a thing I feel like it's a thing and another thing that's a thing, but I need to figure out where to do. The thing is I have this old laptop from when I was in college And Like it has no power I have no idea where the power cord is like it is old AF obviously I need to figure out where to take it to destroy it and recycle it so maybe Best Buy I don't know it so I could do those things today or I could go to farmers market I'm obviously gonna do a lot of cleaning So yeah
[2026-04-04 10:09:00] Sam Willis: lol I was talking about shredding but was looking at Levon so had a dog in my mind, and I might have said shedding instead lmao. But you know what I’m saying 😂
[2026-04-04 10:47:00] Dave: Hahaha you did say shedding
[2026-04-04 10:48:00] Dave: Maybe you should give all that shit to the kids?
[2026-04-04 10:48:00] Sam Willis: Give what shit?
[2026-04-04 10:48:00] Dave: Briefcase
[2026-04-04 10:49:00] Sam Willis: What’s Zander gonna do with it?
[2026-04-04 10:49:00] Dave: Idk. Thought it might be something he’d want
[2026-04-04 10:49:00] Dave: But you’d know
[2026-04-04 10:49:00] Sam Willis: Christian also lowkey destroyed the briefcase cracking it open 😬😂
[2026-04-04 10:50:00] Sam Willis: Okkkk maybe I will
[2026-04-04 10:50:00] Sam Willis: Fine lol
[2026-04-04 10:50:00] Dave: lol
[2026-04-04 10:51:00] Dave: And yeah, good idea walking the dogs one at a time
[2026-04-04 10:56:00] Sam Willis: Sooo much more enjoyable
[2026-04-04 10:56:00] Sam Willis: Look. You can see actual slack in the leash!!! 🤯
[2026-04-04 10:56:00] Sam Willis: 😂
[2026-04-04 10:56:00] Sam Willis: But for real
[2026-04-04 10:57:00] Dave: Oh! Gym was ok. I did some hip PT/balance work, then squats and deadlifts
[2026-04-04 10:57:00] Dave: That’s sooooo much better
[2026-04-04 11:06:00] Sam Willis: 💪💪
[2026-04-04 11:06:00] Sam Willis: 💪💪
[2026-04-04 11:14:00] Sam Willis: Transcription: So I'm doing that reps for rescue challenge you know this month and So you get points based off of how much you live so basically it's Your God Why can't I think so like say I do three sets of 10 whatever and I'm using 10 pound weight so then you know it's I can't do the math I'm saying so basically 10×10 and then three times so you know what I mean that's how much you add up that's how many points you get anyway the whole point is that As you go up in way, obviously you can earn more points so then they also have if you do a yoga class is 10 points. Pilates is 10 points or stretching is 10 points and so. Like I think it's fucking bullshit because pretty much every time I work out I do some form of cardio so like last night there was rowing and like I couldn't like how do I like? There's no reps or like load of rowing so I was like I guess I don't get any point that this fucking bullshit but then I also did. For one minute planks and I was like well this is ass like I'm gonna take my whole fucking body weight and just times because you know I held myself up four times so I should've fucking timed. These little bitches that's the thing is like these fucking tricks. I'm looking through what everybody's. Coding or reporting there's like morning stretch and then they do it so that's 10 points and they do a workout then evening stretch oh and then this one bitch who's in first place is doing A stretch of her upper body as one fucking entry and then a stretch of her lower body as another entry and I'm like I will kill you that is fucking cheating so I'm getting pretty pissed off with these little assholes so then last night I was like fuck you like I'm gonna put in my stretched. I'm like you know I stood up. I like you know pop my back. Fuck these people. Also, I do think it's fucking bullshit that like walking and cardio is not an option that's all and also it's a pretty small competition like so it's not a huge deal but if they get bigger, they really need to separate Male versus female because men typically can lift a lot more than women and so that's just not fair
[2026-04-04 11:44:00] Dave: lol. Math am hard
[2026-04-04 11:46:00] Dave: Lmao… sounds like that program needs some oversight
[2026-04-04 11:47:00] Dave: Yeah you should definitely improvise something for your cardio
[2026-04-04 12:21:00] Sam Willis: Decided I’m going to get a pedicure today
[2026-04-04 12:21:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 12:27:00] Dave: Speaking of treating yo self… did you ever use the crescendo??
[2026-04-04 12:42:00] Dave: Also, can we get off tomorrow? Or is today the cutoff?
[2026-04-04 12:50:00] Sam Willis: Today!!!!
[2026-04-04 12:50:00] Sam Willis: Today!!!!
[2026-04-04 12:50:00] Sam Willis: But if you need some flexibility, then I guessssss I’ll allow it
[2026-04-04 12:51:00] Sam Willis: I’ve tried it a couple times. I haven’t found “that spot” or setting yet though
[2026-04-04 12:51:00] Sam Willis: I’ve tried it a couple times. I haven’t found “that spot” or setting yet though
[2026-04-04 12:53:00] Dave: Awwwe 😕. Not all it was cracked up to be?
[2026-04-04 13:14:00] Sam Willis: I think it likely is! I just need more time with it. Plus, it’s hard when I’ve been using a vibrator that focuses SOLELY on my clit for all this time, and then to have one that isn’t just that, it takes some getting used to. Bc me and my other one are LOCKED IN 😂😂
[2026-04-04 13:15:00] Dave: Yeah that makes sense
[2026-04-04 13:17:00] Dave: Doesn’t it have a clit vibrator too though?
[2026-04-04 13:19:00] Sam Willis: Yea you can hit that spot but i don’t think there’s a setting that is solely focused on that
[2026-04-04 13:19:00] Sam Willis: But maybe 🤔
[2026-04-04 13:21:00] Dave: Damnit.. I was looking at some a couple weeks ago when you were talking about getting something new and now I can’t find them lol. There was a particular top 3 most popular or something.
[2026-04-04 13:23:00] Dave: I figured if it had the clit vibe, everything else would be like… bonus 🤷‍♂️
[2026-04-04 13:48:00] Sam Willis: Find it!!!! Dangit Dave ! lol
[2026-04-04 13:48:00] Sam Willis: Find it!!!! Dangit Dave ! lol
[2026-04-04 13:49:00] Sam Willis: I’m sure it’s great once I get used to it. But this is my first vibrator that can be inserted and I thought I’d feel the vibes internally but nope. Nothing lol
[2026-04-04 13:49:00] Sam Willis: I’m sure it’s great once I get used to it. But this is my first vibrator that can be inserted and I thought I’d feel the vibes internally but nope. Nothing lol
[2026-04-04 13:49:00] Sam Willis: Maybe it’s not at full speed lol
[2026-04-04 13:49:00] Dave: Oh really? Nothing??
[2026-04-04 13:49:00] Dave: How much did it cost?
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Sam Willis: Like $150?
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Dave: Because it might also be that it’s cheap Chinese junk..
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Sam Willis: $175?
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Sam Willis: No it should be legit
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Dave: Okkk guess it’s not that
[2026-04-04 13:50:00] Dave: Hahaha
[2026-04-04 13:55:00] Dave: https://phallophilereviews.com/best-g-spot-vibrators-powerful-body-safe-toys-ranked-compared/ Best G-Spot Vibrators (2026) – Tested, Body-Safe & Powerful
[2026-04-04 13:55:00] Dave: This isn’t the one I was thinking of but it looks like a great site!
[2026-04-04 13:59:00] Sam Willis: How many vibrators does one girl need?! 😂
[2026-04-04 14:00:00] Sam Willis: Good lord, this nail salon is packed. I can never understand a damn word they’re saying. Such a cluster lol
[2026-04-04 14:02:00] Sam Willis: https://www.instagram.com/crazybitchprobs/p/DWtzXXxlHTg/ Tiff Leitz on Instagram Ding ding ding! Yesss
[2026-04-04 14:03:00] Dave: It’s like knives… you can’t have too many
[2026-04-04 14:03:00] Sam Willis: You are basically-ish this. Ish.
[2026-04-04 14:03:00] Dave: It’s like knives… you can’t have too many
[2026-04-04 14:03:00] Sam Willis: Ok I low key don’t understand why you need all those knives either, but if you say so lol
[2026-04-04 14:09:00] Dave: Because they’re all good at different things. They have different qualities like they feel different in the hand, have different cutting characteristics, different deployment mechanisms, and generally different personality. I mean… really… there’s even more of a case for having many different toys. There’s different sizes, shapes, materials, dildos, vibrators, wands, rabbits…
[2026-04-04 14:09:00] Dave: Because they’re all good at different things. They have different qualities like they feel different in the hand, have different cutting characteristics, different deployment mechanisms, and generally different personality. I mean… really… there’s even more of a case for having many different toys. There’s different sizes, shapes, materials, dildos, vibrators, wands, rabbits…
[2026-04-04 14:11:00] Sam Willis: Trueeeee. Plus the more toys, the less need to settle for a stupid man lmao
[2026-04-04 14:11:00] Dave: You could have a different experience EVERY DAY
[2026-04-04 14:12:00] Dave: you could combo them up
[2026-04-04 14:14:00] Sam Willis: Bro. Shameless brag, but do I see bicep definition?!?
[2026-04-04 14:14:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 14:14:00] Sam Willis: Yeaaaaaa buddy
[2026-04-04 14:14:00] Dave: Hell yeah!!
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Dave: You’re looking swole af bruh
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Dave: What is this from?
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Sam Willis: Class last night
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Sam Willis: We did an “eggercise” lmao.
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 14:15:00] Dave: You’re looking swole af bruh
[2026-04-04 14:16:00] Sam Willis: You do the exercises to color in the egg. So like 5 rounds of the high knees. 4 of the planks etc
[2026-04-04 14:16:00] Sam Willis: And it was just see how much you can do in 45 min.
[2026-04-04 14:16:00] Sam Willis: I did 0 burpees. Bc fuck that lmao
[2026-04-04 14:17:00] Dave: Hahaha Man Makers
[2026-04-04 14:17:00] Dave: Fuck that too
[2026-04-04 14:17:00] Sam Willis: I don’t even know what that is
[2026-04-04 14:17:00] Dave: I assume another name for burpees
[2026-04-04 14:18:00] Sam Willis: But if the trainer crossed them out, then I assume they’re worse than burpees lol
[2026-04-04 14:19:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 14:20:00] Dave: Well, while you’re getting all swole and sexy (sexiER) for naked rendezvous… I’m deciding if I should order pizza now, or wait for dinner time
[2026-04-04 14:20:00] Sam Willis: Lmaooo
[2026-04-04 14:21:00] Sam Willis: I’m not getting sexy. 🙄 I thought pizzas were your Friday night thing?
[2026-04-04 14:21:00] Sam Willis: Where you going to order from?
[2026-04-04 14:21:00] Dave: Joe’s
[2026-04-04 14:21:00] Dave: That place I love
[2026-04-04 14:22:00] Sam Willis: Hmm we have a joes pizza in my hometown but I’m gonna assume it’s not your joes
[2026-04-04 14:22:00] Sam Willis: Bc mine is local.
[2026-04-04 14:22:00] Dave: So is this one
[2026-04-04 14:22:00] Sam Willis: And it’s true Italian with the sweet sauce. Disgusting
[2026-04-04 14:22:00] Dave: I’m pretty sure all “Joe’s” are local lol
[2026-04-04 14:23:00] Dave: And yeah these are real Italians
[2026-04-04 14:24:00] Sam Willis: Well enjoy your pizza baby
[2026-04-04 14:25:00] Sam Willis: Order it now before the family actually has you go out to the restaurant to eat 🤪
[2026-04-04 14:25:00] Dave: I think I’m going to pair it with lime or strawberry Modelo, and some golden Oreos for dessert 😋
[2026-04-04 14:25:00] Sam Willis: Yummmmm
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Dave: Lmao! Right?!
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Dave: Lmao! Right?!
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Sam Willis: Well not the modelo. Disgusting lol
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Dave: It’s so good
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Dave: Idek if it’s actually like, “beer” lol
[2026-04-04 14:26:00] Sam Willis: I will likely have a vodka lemonade tonight bc the gym is closed tomorrow
[2026-04-04 14:28:00] Dave: I have actually eaten pretty well the last 2 weeks. By which I mean I haven’t blatantly gorged on cookies, cake, ice cream or other obviously terrible treats
[2026-04-04 14:45:00] Sam Willis: You’re doing better than me!!
[2026-04-04 14:45:00] Sam Willis: I have been eating mostly like shit
[2026-04-04 15:05:00] Dave: Oh yeah?
[2026-04-04 15:05:00] Dave: Well don’t worry, I’m still fat
[2026-04-04 15:05:00] Sam Willis: At work, I have been snacking on chocolate and chips
[2026-04-04 15:06:00] Dave: Hopefully you’ve gained a couple pounds so I don’t feel bad
[2026-04-04 15:06:00] Dave: 🤪
[2026-04-04 15:09:00] Sam Willis: lol jerk. I’ve been feeling motivated. Don’t derail me! 🤪
[2026-04-04 15:09:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 15:10:00] Dave: Hahaha
[2026-04-04 15:10:00] Dave: Ok ok my bad
[2026-04-04 15:10:00] Dave: You go girl!
[2026-04-04 15:11:00] Dave: You have seemed motivated 😊
[2026-04-04 15:23:00] Sam Willis: It comes in waves lol
[2026-04-04 15:23:00] Sam Willis: It comes in waves lol
[2026-04-04 15:32:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 15:34:00] Sam Willis: Hahaha you did actually put little thingies in there!
[2026-04-04 15:36:00] Dave: Yea. I told you I did!!
[2026-04-04 15:37:00] Dave: Lmk if it smells good when you open the box
[2026-04-04 15:42:00] Sam Willis: Oh my gosh, it does!!!
[2026-04-04 15:42:00] Sam Willis: ❤️❤️❤️
[2026-04-04 15:42:00] Sam Willis: Love that! Also. I’m low key obsessed with this tree thingy
[2026-04-04 15:43:00] Sam Willis: I thought you were joking lol
[2026-04-04 15:43:00] Sam Willis: How fun!
[2026-04-04 15:43:00] Sam Willis: I thought you were joking lol
[2026-04-04 15:46:00] Dave: I forgot what I even put in there
[2026-04-04 15:46:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 15:47:00] Dave: And I spray every package with that fragrance but I’ve never actually opened one later to see if it still smelled good lol
[2026-04-04 15:47:00] Sam Willis: It’s not your cologne? It smells cologne-y!
[2026-04-04 15:47:00] Sam Willis: It does legit smell really good
[2026-04-04 15:48:00] Dave: It’s Coco Chanel
[2026-04-04 15:48:00] Dave: Perfume
[2026-04-04 15:48:00] Dave: Or, a clone of it I made anyway
[2026-04-04 15:54:00] Dave: I also make these 🤭
[2026-04-04 15:55:00] Sam Willis: And sell them?
[2026-04-04 15:55:00] Dave: I usually wear the Creed. If/when I wear any
[2026-04-04 15:55:00] Dave: Nahh, just for funsies
[2026-04-04 15:56:00] Sam Willis: You are a man of many talents!
[2026-04-04 15:56:00] Dave: Heheh
[2026-04-04 15:56:00] Dave: I do do allthethings don’t I lol
[2026-04-04 15:59:00] Sam Willis: You really do!!
[2026-04-04 15:59:00] Sam Willis: It’s fucking sexy
[2026-04-04 16:04:00] Dave: I love that that turns you on 😘
[2026-04-04 16:06:00] Sam Willis: It definitely does
[2026-04-04 16:42:00] Sam Willis: That looks delish!!
[2026-04-04 16:44:00] Dave: It’s sooo good 😊
[2026-04-04 16:47:00] Sam Willis: Tis nap time for me
[2026-04-04 16:51:00] Dave: Enjoy baby
[2026-04-04 19:44:00] Sam Willis: Christian’s looking at a place on Monday night. He wants me to go with him.
[2026-04-04 19:44:00] Sam Willis: Which I’m fine with. Gonna be semi awkward but fine
[2026-04-04 19:45:00] Sam Willis: Also he just told me that his therapist agreed that it’s wise not to tell the kids until they’re moving out. But then she also thinks we should tell them together 😩
[2026-04-04 19:47:00] Dave: That’s good that he’s looking at a place. Why does he want you to go?
[2026-04-04 19:47:00] Dave: Going to be awkward for sure
[2026-04-04 19:47:00] Dave: As is telling the kids together
[2026-04-04 19:48:00] Dave: But yeah whatever. It’s progress towards getting your house back
[2026-04-04 19:54:00] Sam Willis: Wants my opinion I guess.
[2026-04-04 19:54:00] Sam Willis: Wants my opinion I guess.
[2026-04-04 19:54:00] Sam Willis: I dunno. All the feels. This is going to be weird
[2026-04-04 19:55:00] Sam Willis: It’s the easiest breakup ever. Like we aren’t mad at each other. We get along fine. It’s weird
[2026-04-04 19:55:00] Dave: Yeah that must be weird
[2026-04-04 19:56:00] Dave: Having second thoughts?
[2026-04-04 19:56:00] Sam Willis: Not about breaking up but bc its so easy it somehow makes me feel even more guilty
[2026-04-04 19:57:00] Dave: Why does that make you feel guilty?
[2026-04-04 19:58:00] Sam Willis: Bc he’s being so calm about it all. What if he’s actually really hurting inside?
[2026-04-04 19:59:00] Dave: You haven’t done anything to feel guilty about. It wasn’t working out, and you ended it. That’s how it’s supposed to work 😊
[2026-04-04 20:00:00] Dave: Even if he is, being hurt about things is just part of life. It’s one of the things that builds character and wisdom.
[2026-04-04 20:00:00] Dave: You guys tried, it didn’t work, now it’s time to move on, ya know
[2026-04-04 20:01:00] Dave: And he has all kinds of stuff going on inside…
[2026-04-04 20:01:00] Sam Willis: I know. Ugh. It’ll be fine
[2026-04-04 20:02:00] Sam Willis: All in all, this isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
[2026-04-04 20:02:00] Sam Willis: Anyway how is your night going?
[2026-04-04 20:04:00] Dave: My night’s fine. Got my pizza and Oreos so I’m gooch
[2026-04-04 20:06:00] Sam Willis: No I guess I’m just bracing myself for him to become very sad when it actually happens and I’m so codependent and empathetic, it’s going to make me feel like shit. So I guess I’m anxious for what’s to come.
[2026-04-04 20:06:00] Sam Willis: No I guess I’m just bracing myself for him to become very sad when it actually happens and I’m so codependent and empathetic, it’s going to make me feel like shit. So I guess I’m anxious for what’s to come.
[2026-04-04 20:12:00] Dave: Yeah that makes sense. Classic Sam 🥰
[2026-04-04 20:37:00] Dave: So what are you up to tonight?
[2026-04-04 20:42:00] Sam Willis: Just had a strawberry/spinach salad for dinner and waiting for Christian’s dumb movie to end so I can watch something that I want to watch lol
[2026-04-04 20:42:00] Sam Willis: What are you up to?
[2026-04-04 20:45:00] Dave: Just counting down the days until I get to see you 😁
[2026-04-04 20:46:00] Dave: But other than that I’m laying in bed watching tv.
[2026-04-04 20:50:00] Sam Willis: EEEEEEE!!!! 🤗🥳
[2026-04-04 20:50:00] Sam Willis: EEEEEEE!!!! 🤗🥳
[2026-04-04 20:50:00] Sam Willis: One more week and we will be CUDDLINGGGGG!!
[2026-04-04 20:50:00] Sam Willis: Whatcha watching on TV?
[2026-04-04 20:52:00] Dave: “How were kamikaze pilots chosen”
[2026-04-04 20:54:00] Sam Willis: Is this YouTube?
[2026-04-04 20:54:00] Sam Willis: I love you ❤️
[2026-04-04 20:56:00] Dave: I also just found out River Phoenix, the actor who OD’d when he was like 17 or something - was Jaquan Phoenix’s brother!
[2026-04-04 20:56:00] Dave: I never made that connection lol
[2026-04-04 20:56:00] Dave: I love you so so much 💕
[2026-04-04 20:57:00] Sam Willis: Hmmm I think I knew this. Maybe. lol
[2026-04-04 20:57:00] Sam Willis: Hmmm I think I knew this. Maybe. lol
[2026-04-04 21:07:00] Sam Willis: Reading a leadership email and this describes Christian to a T at his work 😬
[2026-04-04 21:07:00] Sam Willis: <no text>
[2026-04-04 21:10:00] Dave: Oof.. yeah you’ve literally used some of those words to describe him
[2026-04-04 21:37:00] Sam Willis: Why am I so tired?! 😴
[2026-04-04 21:47:00] Dave: It ain’t easy being beautiful
[2026-04-04 21:47:00] Sam Willis: Lmao
[2026-04-04 21:48:00] Sam Willis: What you got going on tomorrow?
[2026-04-04 21:48:00] Dave: I can’t wait to see you!!
[2026-04-04 21:49:00] Dave: Gym. Groceries. Car wash. That is all
[2026-04-04 21:49:00] Sam Willis: I knowwwww. Getting so so close!
[2026-04-04 21:49:00] Dave: Hbu
[2026-04-04 21:51:00] Sam Willis: I’m not even sure! The gym is closed but I’m still going to work out at home. And walk the dogs I’m sure.
[2026-04-04 21:56:00] Dave: Daaamn you’re killing it on the workouts!
[2026-04-04 21:57:00] Sam Willis: Thanks baby. Gotta get those points damnit!
[2026-04-04 21:57:00] Dave: Oh! How’s your leg shingles?
[2026-04-04 21:58:00] Sam Willis: Still there but I’m pretty sure it’s irritation from the knee brace on my other leg. Bumping up against it
[2026-04-04 21:59:00] Dave: Ohhh ok
[2026-04-04 22:00:00] Sam Willis: No shingles!
[2026-04-04 22:01:00] Dave: As long as that ass is grabbable 😋
[2026-04-04 22:02:00] Sam Willis: Yes please!!! Grab and squeeze all you want 😍😍
[2026-04-04 22:02:00] Dave: Well… wiggle berry says goodnight
[2026-04-04 22:02:00] Dave: And so do I, love
[2026-04-04 22:02:00] Sam Willis: The cutest boi!!
[2026-04-04 22:02:00] Sam Willis: Good night baby. Sweet dreams!
[2026-04-04 22:03:00] Dave: NN babydoll, I can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow 😘
[2026-04-04 22:03:00] Dave: Love you 💕
[2026-04-04 22:03:00] Sam Willis: Love you sweetie

The house smelled like other people's lives — cinnamon plug-in, carpet shampoo, the ghost of a dog that didn't live here anymore — and Sam stood in the primary bedroom with Christian three feet behind her, nodding at the walk-in closet like she was supposed to have an opinion about shelving.

"It's a good house," she said, because it was, and because saying it settled something in his shoulders she didn't want to leave unsettled. They weren't fighting. That was the weirdest part of any of this. They'd driven over together and he'd played her a song he thought she'd like and she had liked it, and now she was picturing where his books would go and feeling the specific, low-grade nausea of being kind to someone she was leaving.

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She didn't check it until Christian went downstairs to look at the laundry hookup.

When you're done there, go home. Shower. Put on the grey shirt — mine, the one you stole. Nothing else. Sit on the edge of the bed and wait. Call me at six your time.

She read it twice. Then a third time, standing in a stranger's bedroom with her ex downstairs and a real estate flyer curling in her left hand. Her stomach dropped through the floor of the house and kept going.

Yes, Sir, she typed, and the heat of it moved up her throat and settled behind her eyes, and she had to press her knuckles to her mouth for a second before she could go back down the stairs and tell Christian yes, the light was nice, yes, the yard was a good size, yes, she could see him here.

The drive home was forty minutes of her thighs clenched together at every stoplight. By the time she keyed into her apartment her hands were shaking the specific way they shook when she'd been holding something in her body for too long — guilt, grief, want, it didn't matter, her body processed it the same.

She showered. She shaved without thinking about why. She put on his shirt — soft to the point of translucent at the hem, the neck stretched from four years of him wearing it before she took it — and she sat on the edge of the bed at five fifty-nine and watched the second hand on her nightstand clock.

She called at six exactly.

"Good girl." His voice was low and unhurried, that Virginia slowness that turned every vowel into a hand on the back of her neck. "How was the house."

"Nice." Her voice came out thin. "It was nice. I'm — Dave, I'm —"

"I know, baby. I know." A pause. She could hear him breathing. "You did the right thing going. You were kind to him. That was the right thing to do."

Her eyes burned. "Okay."

"But you're not there anymore. You're home. You're in my shirt. Aren't you."

"Yes, Sir."

"Tell me what you're wearing under it."

"Nothing."

"Good." She heard the smile in it, the satisfaction, and it landed in her cunt like he'd pressed his palm there. "Here's what we're doing tonight. You've been carrying something all day that isn't yours to carry. I'm going to take it off you. Do you understand what I mean."

"Yes."

"Say it."

"I've been —" Her throat closed. She made herself open it. "I've been holding it together. All day. I felt guilty the whole time. I felt like a bad person."

"You're not a bad person."

"I know."

"Say it."

"I'm not a bad person."

"Good girl." The words cracked something in her chest. "Now. On the bed. On your back. Head at the foot so I can hear you clearly. Phone on the pillow beside your head."

She moved. Her hands were clumsy. The sheets were cool against the backs of her thighs and the shirt rode up and she left it.

"Tell me when you're there."

"I'm here."

"Legs open. Wider. Wider, Sam. I want you so open you feel stupid."

A sound came out of her that wasn't a word. She spread her knees until the tendons at the top of her thighs pulled, until she felt the air on every part of her at once, until she was embarrassed in the specific way that was not embarrassment at all but its erotic twin.

"Good. Now. The new one. Where is it."

"Nightstand."

"Get it."

She had to sit up to reach. The vibrator was the one she'd complained to him about — the one that had cost her a hundred and seventy-five dollars and seemed determined to do everything except the thing she wanted. Heavy in her hand. Matte silicone. A small constellation of buttons she still didn't have memorized.

"Okay," he said. "Here's what you don't know yet. I downloaded the app for that thing three days ago. It pairs to a phone. I have the codes. You're going to open the app and you're going to let me in."

Her mouth fell open. "Dave."

"Do it, Sam."

Her thumb was clumsy on the screen. She found the app. She accepted the pairing request from a device named, she realized with a lurch, Sir. She laughed — a wet, startled sound — and covered her face with her free hand.

"Oh my God."

"You said you needed more time with it," he said, mild as anything. "I figured I'd help."

"You — when did you — "

"Put it where it needs to go, baby. The internal part. You know which end."

She did what he said. Her hand was shaking. She was already wet enough that the silicone slid in with no resistance at all, and she made a noise when it seated against her that she didn't recognize as her own voice, and then she lay back and settled the external arm against her clit and waited.

"Tell me when it's in place."

"It's in."

"Hands off. Flat on the mattress, palms down. You don't touch it again until I say."

"Yes, Sir."

There was a pause — two seconds, maybe three, long enough for her to register the silence and to understand exactly what was about to happen — and then the toy came to life.

Not hard. A low hum, barely there, the kind of setting she'd been hunting for all week and never found. Her whole body jolted anyway because she hadn't braced for it, and a laugh-sob broke out of her, and Dave said, "There she is."

"Oh — oh —"

"Shh. Breathe. We have time."

He moved it in waves. She could feel him thinking on the other end of the line — a pulse that built and held and receded, a rhythm that matched her breath and then deliberately stopped matching it, a low throb against her clit while the internal part went still and then the reverse. He was three thousand miles away and he was inside her body, playing her like he'd been given the instruction manual her own hands had never figured out.

"This is the setting you wanted," he said. "Isn't it."

"Yes — fuck — yes —"

"Say thank you."

"Thank you, Sir."

The intensity climbed. She felt her thighs start to tremble, that specific flutter that meant her body was gathering itself, and he must have felt it too somehow, must have heard it in her breath, because the vibration dropped to nothing the instant before she could tip.

She wailed.

"Not yet."

"Please —"

"Not yet, Sam. You don't get to come because you feel guilty. You don't get to come because you want to stop thinking. You come when I say, and you come because you've let go of it. Do you understand the difference."

She was crying. Not hard — a slow leak from the corners of her eyes into her hair, the kind of tears that weren't sadness and weren't happiness and were just her body's way of releasing pressure. "Yes."

"Tell me what you felt in that house today."

"Dave —"

"Tell me."

"Sad." Her voice cracked open. "I felt sad. And guilty. And — and relieved, which made me feel guilty again. And I kept thinking — I kept thinking about you. About being there with you someday. In a house. And I felt like a terrible person for thinking that while I was standing next to him."

"You're not a terrible person."

"I know."

"You're allowed to want what you want."

"I know."

"Say it."

"I'm allowed to want what I want."

The toy came back on. Higher this time — a deep, rolling pulse that seemed to come from inside her bones, and the external arm against her clit in a counter-rhythm, and she was gone, she was absolutely gone, her hips lifting off the bed and her hands twitching flat against the mattress where he'd told her to keep them.

"Good girl. Good girl. Tell me what you need."

"To come — please — Sir, please —"

"Beg."

"Please, please, please, please —"

"Louder."

"Please let me come — "

"Come."

He pushed the intensity to its ceiling. The toy went from pulse to a single sustained roar and she broke around it, clenching so hard she felt the silicone shift inside her, her whole body arching off the bed with a sound coming out of her throat she couldn't have made on purpose — raw, animal, loud, the neighbors-might-hear loud she never allowed herself alone. Her thighs snapped shut around the toy and then fell open again because she couldn't hold them. She was shaking. She was sobbing. She was laughing. The tears were running into her ears.

"There you go," he was saying, gentle now, the vibration already dropping away. "There you go, baby. That's it. Breathe. I've got you."

She couldn't speak for a full minute. Maybe two. She just lay there with her knees shaking and her cunt still twitching around silicone and his voice in her ear telling her she was good, she was good, she was his good girl, she'd done so well.

When she could make words again she said, "You asshole. You bought the app."

He laughed. Quiet. Pleased. "Told you I'd help you figure it out."

"When I see you —"

"Six days."

"Six days. I'm going to —"

"You're going to do exactly what I tell you to do," he said, "which is what you like. Now reach down. Slowly. Take it out."

She did. She whimpered when it slid free. Her thighs were slick to the knee.

"Put it on the nightstand. Don't clean it yet. Get under the covers. The shirt stays on."

She obeyed every instruction like it was a handhold on a cliff face. Under the covers. Phone back to her ear. Curled on her side. His shirt bunched at her hip, damp along the hem where she'd cried into it without realizing.

"I'm here," he said. "I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me about today. The house. What the kitchen was like. The yard. All of it."

She started talking. About the cinnamon plug-in. About the shelving. About the specific expression on Christian's face when he'd stood in the empty dining room and tried to picture a table there. About the relief of closing the car door after and about the guilt of the relief and about the stoplight where she'd pressed her knuckles to her mouth.

He listened. He made small sounds in the right places. He didn't fix any of it. He just stayed on the line while her body came down in slow, uneven increments, while the trembling stopped in her thighs and started in her hands and stopped there too, while her breathing finally evened out into something close to sleep.

"Six days," he murmured.

"Six days."

"Go to sleep, baby. I love you."

"I love you." Her voice was already gone, already drifting. "Dave."

"Mm."

"Thank you."

"For what."

"For taking it."

He was quiet a long moment. Then, so soft she almost missed it across the distance: "Anytime. Anytime you need me to. That's what I'm here for."

She slept with the phone still warm against her ear and his shirt still on and her body finally, finally, unclenched.

The floodwater came up over the hood of the cruiser before Sam killed the engine, and for a long second she listened to the rain drum the roof and thought about how many ways a drowning could be written up as misadventure.

"Don't," Dave said from the passenger seat.

"Don't what."

"Don't do the math in your head. We're fine."

She looked at him. Bald, calm, one hand braced on the dash like he'd already decided the water wasn't going to win. Four years riding together and she still couldn't tell whether his steadiness was a gift from God or a trick he did with his shoulders.

"The levee's gone," she said.

"I know."

"The radio's gone."

"I know."

"Christian's house is half a mile that way and I am absolutely not swimming to my ex-husband for shelter."

That got the corner of his mouth. "No," he agreed. "You are not."

A hundred yards ahead, through the wipers and the sheeting dark, the old Sheriff's substation rose out of the water like a brick ark. Abandoned since the consolidation. Still dry, still standing, still on the list of emergency fallbacks they'd both memorized the first month on the job.

"On three," Dave said, and unbuckled.

They went out the doors into brown water that grabbed their belts and tried to take their boots. Her duty holster was submerged before she'd cleared the fender. He had his hand on the small of her back the whole way — not pushing, not steering, just there, the way he'd put his hand on a suspect's shoulder to let them know where the world was. She felt it through wet fabric like a brand.

The substation door gave on the second shoulder. They fell into dark and she heard him breathing, and her own teeth chattering, and the rain hammering the tin overhead like someone was unloading a clip into it.

"Light," she said.

His Maglite cut the room. Dust in the beam. A desk, a rolltop file cabinet, a cot folded against the wall for the deputies who used to catch naps between domestic calls. The air smelled of old paper and mildew and, faintly, of cedar from the hills.

She started laughing. Couldn't help it. "I just drove through water so fucking deep it went up over the hood," she said, quoting him back to him from that morning, and her voice shook with the cold and something else.

"You stole my line, Arizona." He was already unbuckling his vest, which meant hers was coming off next whether she moved or not. "Out of the wet. Now."

"Yes, sir."

She said it light. He didn't answer light. He stepped in and his hands went to her belt — the duty belt first, heavy with the Sig and the cuffs and the radio that wasn't going to work out here — and he set it on the desk with the kind of careful reverence cops use when a weapon is involved, even between them, even now. Then the vest. Then the wet uniform shirt, button by button, while water ran off her elbows onto the boards.

"Dave."

"Shh." He wasn't looking at her face. He was looking at her collarbone, where a bruise was blooming from where the seatbelt had caught her. His thumb passed over it once. "That's going to be pretty tomorrow."

"You sweet talker."

"Arms up."

She lifted her arms and he peeled the undershirt off, and her nipples went hard the instant the air hit them, and he looked at that too — looked at her like he was taking inventory, like he was a deputy and her body was the scene he was walking. Her belt was gone. Her pants were soaked to the thigh. She was shivering so hard her jaw hurt.

"Pants."

"Pushy."

"Cold kills, Sam."

"I know what cold does, Virginia, I'm the one whose job you took."

That finally got him to look up at her face. The old joke. Four years old. He'd transferred in from a county in Virginia nobody down here could pronounce and taken the patrol slot she'd been promised, and she'd hated him for six weeks and loved him quietly for forty-six months and now they were in an abandoned substation with a flood rising outside and she could see his pupils blow open in the Maglite's spill.

"Pants," he said again, and she unbuttoned her own because she wanted to watch him watch.

He got the cot unfolded one-handed. Army wool blanket, dusty but dry. He wrapped her in it before he even started on his own clothes, and that almost undid her — the way he always, always put her first, even when his lips were going blue — and she dragged the blanket off one shoulder and said, "Get in here, you idiot."

He stripped fast. Cop-fast, the way they both did at the end of a shift in the locker bay, except this time she got to look. Solid. A winter's worth of gym in the shoulders. The old scar under his ribs from the call that had almost taken him, that she still dreamed about sometimes. His cock was already half-hard and rising as he came toward her, and she felt her mouth go wet at the sight of it, just that simple, just that fast.

He climbed under the wool with her and the warmth of him hit her all at once.

"Jesus," she breathed.

"I know."

"Don't go anywhere."

"I'm not going anywhere."

She meant ever. He heard it. She watched him hear it. Christian's house was half a mile away under brown water and she was thirty-four years old in a dead substation with the only man who'd ever known the whole shape of her, and she said again, smaller, "Don't go anywhere."

"Sam." His hand cupped her jaw. "I'm right here."

She kissed him. Cold mouth, warm tongue. He tasted like rain and coffee gone stale and under that the clean familiar taste of him, and she made a noise into his mouth that she'd have been embarrassed about with anyone else. With him it was just information. He took the information and rolled her under him and the cot groaned.

"This thing going to hold?"

"Don't care," he said against her throat.

His mouth went down her — collarbone, the fresh bruise he kissed like an apology, her breast, her nipple drawn up between his teeth until she arched off the canvas. He knew her body like a partner knows a patrol route. He knew where to slow down. He knew the spot under her left breast that made her swear. He knew that if he dragged his tongue in a flat stripe from her sternum to her navel she'd open her legs before he had to ask.

She opened her legs before he had to ask.

"Good girl," he said, low, and she felt that land everywhere at once — in her throat, in her stomach, between her thighs, which were already slick and getting slicker.

He went down. No preamble. No performance. He put his mouth on her cunt like he was starving and she clapped her own hand over her mouth because the tin roof was loud but she was louder. His tongue found her clit and stayed. Two fingers eased into her, curled up, found the place he'd mapped years ago and never forgotten, and she bucked so hard the cot skated an inch across the boards.

"Fuck — Dave — fuck — "

He hummed against her. Didn't stop. Didn't speed up. Just worked her, steady, the way he did everything, while her thighs started to shake around his ears and her free hand scrabbled at the wool and found his shoulder and dug in. She felt his other hand press flat on her belly to hold her down and that was what did it — the weight of his palm, the unhurried refusal to let her move away from what he was giving her — and she came on his tongue with a sound that was half sob, half laugh, fully obscene.

He kept going through it. Eased her down. Kissed the inside of her thigh. Came up the length of her with his chin wet and his eyes black.

"Get up here," she said, hoarse.

"Bossy."

"Get up here, Virginia, and fuck me."

He laughed, quiet, the laugh he saved for her, and he did.

He pushed into her slow. Inch by inch. The stretch made her gasp and he paused, watching her face, and she nodded and he sank the rest of the way and bottomed out and she felt the breath leave both of them at once.

"God," she said.

"Yeah."

"Move."

He moved. Slow first, grinding more than thrusting, his forehead against hers, and she could hear the rain and she could hear the wet sound of him moving in her and she could hear him breathing her name into her mouth like a prayer he wasn't done learning. The cot creaked. Her heels hooked behind his thighs. His hand slid under her ass and tilted her up and the angle changed and she made a sound that wasn't language.

"There?"

"There. There. Don't stop."

He didn't stop. He sped up, finally, the control he always held snapping rope by rope, and she felt the cot skate again on the boards and didn't care. His mouth found her throat. His teeth found her pulse. She was going to have marks tomorrow and she wanted them. She wanted every inch of evidence. She wanted to walk into Monday's briefing with his bruises under her collar and know what she knew.

"Sam — "

"I know. I know. Come on. Come on, baby — "

"Say it."

"Come inside me."

"Say it again."

"Come inside me, Dave, I want it, I want you, come on — "

He made a wrecked sound and buried himself and she felt him pulse, felt the hot spill of him, felt her own cunt clamp down around him in answer like her body had been waiting for permission. She came again on a shudder she didn't see coming. He groaned into her shoulder. The cot held, barely.

For a long time after, there was just the rain.

He didn't pull out right away. He kissed her temple. He kissed the bruise on her collarbone. He murmured something that might have been grabbable ass against her jaw and she huffed a laugh she felt in her whole body.

"You're ridiculous."

"You married me anyway."

"I did not."

"You will."

She went still under him. He lifted his head. His eyes weren't joking.

"Dave."

"I know. Not tonight. I'm just telling you what I know."

She swallowed. Outside the rain had started to slacken — she could hear the difference, the tin less frantic, the flood already thinking about receding. By morning they'd radio out. By next week she'd be standing in a house Christian wanted her to look at and she'd say no, kindly, the way you can say no to someone you aren't angry with. And one week after that she'd be in Virginia, or he'd be here, and the life they hadn't quite started yet would start.

"Okay," she said.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

He laid his head back down on her chest and she pulled the wool up over both of them and listened to the rain decide to let them live.

The house Christian wants is on a cul-de-sac in North Phoenix, white stucco, red tile, a pool Sam can see through the side gate when she gets there fifteen minutes early. She parks under a palo verde and sits in the car with the AC running and the radio off, looking at the house her husband wants them to buy so he can pretend, for a few more months, that this isn't ending.

Her phone buzzes against her thigh. Dave.

You there yet?

Sitting in the driveway. He's late.

How are you?

She thinks about it. Types, deletes. Types again.

Weird. Not sad weird. Just weird.

Easiest breakup in history, he writes back. Still counts as a breakup, baby.

She closes her eyes. The AC pushes cold air across her bare knees. She is wearing a sundress because it's ninety-one degrees in April and because if she were going to look at a house with Dave she'd want to look good, and her body hasn't quite caught up to the fact that today is not that.

Six more days, she sends.

Five and change. Go look at the house. Call me after.

Christian pulls in behind her in his work truck, waves through the windshield like they are colleagues meeting for lunch. They probably are, at this point. They walk through the house with the realtor, and Sam says the right things about the kitchen island and the primary closet, and Christian asks about HOA fees and roof age, and at one point their hands brush reaching for the same cabinet handle and they both apologize, and the realtor looks at her clipboard very hard.

In the driveway after, Christian hugs her. It is a good hug. Four years of marriage makes you good at hugging someone.

"Thanks for coming," he says.

"Yeah."

"I know it's weird."

"It's fine."

They stand there. He doesn't say I love you and neither does she, and that is how she knows, finally, fully, that it's over. Not the paperwork. This. The quiet where the words used to be.

She drives home crying a little, not a lot, the kind of crying that happens while you are also changing lanes and turning down the radio. By the time she pulls into her own driveway she is done. She walks the dogs one at a time, like she's been doing, and Rosie pulls toward the mailbox and Huck sniffs every creosote like it's a library, and the sun drops behind the mountains and turns everything gold.

She eats a salad standing up at the counter. She takes a shower. She puts on one of Dave's t-shirts — the soft gray one she stole at Christmas, thin enough now that the collar has started to fray — and nothing else, and she calls him.

He answers on the second ring. "Hey, baby."

"Hi."

"You okay?"

"I'm okay." She curls up on her bed. The window is open; she can hear somebody's sprinklers. "It was fine. It was actually fine. I kept waiting to feel something awful and I just… didn't."

"Good."

"Is it good?"

"It's good that you got through it. Everything else we can figure out."

She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. His voice does this to her. It always has. Four years of his voice in her ear on bad nights and good ones and nights she couldn't tell the difference, and her body knows the sound of it the way it knows water.

"I missed you today," she says.

"Missed you more."

"Not possible."

"Empirically verifiable."

She laughs. It surprises her. "What are you doing?"

"Lying on my couch. I drove through a goddamn river earlier — water came up over the hood, Sam, I thought I was gonna have to swim — and I just got out of the shower and I'm trying to decide whether I have the energy to order pizza."

"Joe's?"

"Obviously Joe's."

"You're disgusting."

"You love me."

"I love you."

There's a pause. The kind they have sometimes, where neither of them is in a hurry to fill it. She can hear him breathing. She can picture him exactly — fresh out of the shower, clean-shaven scalp still damp, that old navy t-shirt he wears to sleep, one hand behind his head. She has seen him in every room of his apartment so many times on FaceTime that she could walk it blindfolded.

"What are you wearing," he says, and it isn't a question, it's a dare in the shape of a cliché, and she laughs again.

"Your shirt."

"Which one."

"The gray one."

"That's my favorite."

"I know."

"What else."

"Nothing else."

She hears him exhale. Slow. "Sam."

"I'm having a hard day," she says, innocent, and stretches so the shirt rides up past her hip. "I need comfort."

"Is that right."

"Mhm."

"Where's the vibrator."

"Nightstand."

"Get it."

She reaches without sitting up, fumbles the drawer open. The thing is matte black, heavier than it looks, and she has spent the better part of a week failing to find a setting that does what she wants. She tells him this, has told him this, complained about the hundred and seventy-five dollars and the Bluetooth app and the way she keeps accidentally hitting a pattern that feels like a washing machine mid-cycle.

"Put me on speaker," he says.

She does. Sets the phone on the pillow next to her face.

"Lube, too. The good one."

"Bossy."

"Yeah."

She gets the lube. Lies back. The ceiling fan turns slowly above her; the sheet is cool against the backs of her thighs.

"Tell me what you did today," he says. His voice has dropped, not performed, just settled — low, warm, the Virginia vowels softening at the edges. "Start from the house."

"Dave."

"Tell me."

So she does. She tells him about the stucco and the pool and Christian's hand brushing hers and the hug in the driveway, and as she talks she feels his voice doing its thing, unknotting her shoulder blades, loosening her jaw. He doesn't interrupt. He makes the small sounds that mean I'm here, and when she gets to the part about crying in the car he says, "Good. That's good, baby. Let it go now. You're done with that part."

"I'm done."

"Put some lube on your fingers."

She does. Warms it between her fingertips.

"Touch yourself. Not the toy yet. Just your hand. Tell me what it feels like."

She slides her hand down. She is already wet, embarrassingly so, and she tells him that, and he laughs low in his throat and says, "Yeah, you are." She touches her clit in small circles, feels the familiar first flicker of heat gather under her hand.

"Slow," he says. "I've got you all night. No hurry."

"You'll be asleep in an hour."

"Then I'll be asleep. You'll still have me."

Her breath catches on that. Not the filth — the you'll still have me. She rolls her hips up into her own hand.

"Tell me what you want," he says.

"You."

"Be specific."

"I want your hand. I want your mouth. I want you on top of me so I can't move."

"Five more days."

"Dave."

"Five days and you get all of it. Tell me what I'm gonna do to you."

She presses her fingers down harder, circles faster. "You're gonna — God — you're gonna put me on my stomach."

"Yeah."

"Pin my hands behind my back."

"Yeah I am."

"Face in the mattress."

"That's right. Get the toy now, baby. Slow."

She clicks it on. The low buzz fills the room. She drags the tip down over her clit and her hips jerk up off the bed involuntarily, the fabric of his shirt riding up under her breasts.

"Fuck," she breathes.

"Which setting."

"The — I don't know, the second one. The rumble one."

"Keep it there. Don't push it inside yet."

"Dave—"

"Don't. Not yet."

She whines — actually whines, a sound she would be embarrassed about with anyone else, a sound she makes only for him — and keeps the toy against her clit, circling. Her thighs start to shake. She is dripping onto the sheet; she can feel it. The shirt clings to her ribs with sweat.

"Tell me how wet you are."

"So wet. So — it's running down—"

"Good girl. Now — slow — put it inside."

She slides it down, through the slickness, and pushes it into herself and her back arches off the bed. It is so much, suddenly, the vibration internal and deep, and she gasps out loud, and on the other end of the line she hears Dave's breath hitch.

"Are you—"

"Yeah," he says. "Yeah I'm touching myself. Don't stop."

"Tell me."

"I'm hard as a fucking rock, baby. Been hard since you said you weren't wearing anything under my shirt." His voice has gone rough. She can hear the slick sound of his hand, faint under his breathing. "Fuck your hand. The toy inside, your fingers on your clit. Both."

She fumbles, gets her other hand down, finds her clit with two slippery fingers while the toy works inside her. The noise she makes is not a word. Her hips rock up off the bed on their own, the muscles in her stomach clenching.

"That's it. That's my girl. You gonna come for me?"

"Yes—"

"Tell me when."

"Close — Dave — fuck, I'm—"

"Not yet."

"Dave."

"Not yet, baby, hold it, hold it for me—"

She holds it. She doesn't know how. Her whole body is shaking, the toy buzzing deep, her fingers blurring against her clit, and she holds it because he told her to, because his voice is in her ear and she would do almost anything he asked in that voice, and she can hear him breathing fast on the other end, can hear the wet sound of his hand on his cock, and it is almost worse than being there, almost, being able to hear him and not touch him.

"Now," he says. "Come now."

She breaks apart. The sound that comes out of her is not pretty — it is open-mouthed and loud and she doesn't care, her back arching clean off the mattress, the toy slipping as she clenches around it, her thighs locking shut around her hand. She hears, distantly, Dave groan — the low one, the one that means he's coming too, that specific sound she has memorized — and then a long exhale, and then his laugh, quiet and amazed, like he still cannot believe this is his life.

"Jesus," he says.

"Mhm." She can't form a word yet. She fumbles the toy off. Her hand is a mess. His shirt is damp with sweat, stuck to her breasts. The ceiling fan turns.

"You okay?"

"Mm."

"Still with me?"

"Mm-hm."

"Take your time."

She breathes. For a long minute, that's all she does. He stays on the line and doesn't fill the silence, and she can hear him shifting on his couch three time zones away, the rustle of a blanket, the tap of him setting his phone down somewhere.

"Hi," she says eventually.

"Hi."

"I needed that."

"I know."

"How'd you know."

"Because I know you."

She rolls onto her side, toward the phone. Her face is wet; she doesn't remember starting to cry, but she is, a little. The good kind. The kind that comes out after.

"Five days," he says softly.

"Five days."

"Go to sleep, baby. I've got you."

"Stay on?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

She pulls the sheet up over her hip. His shirt smells like her now, not him, and in five days she will be in his bed and it will smell like both of them and she will not have to hang up the phone to feel him. She closes her eyes. The sprinklers are still running somewhere down the street.

"Dave?"

"Mm."

"Thank you."

"Go to sleep."

She does. He stays on the line until her breathing evens out, and then he stays a while longer, just listening, before he sets the phone down and lets her sleep.

DAY OVERVIEW Today was a Thursday marked by a playful start, evolving into a mixture of practical conversation and flirtatious banter, with a tender and anticipatory evening. The day was defined by Sam's impending visit to a potential new home with her ex, Christian, which caused some emotional reflection and anxiety for her.

TOPIC INVENTORY 1. Weather & Commute - Dave describes heavy rain and flooding, driving through deep water over the hood of his car. - Emotional register: amused, slightly anxious - Notable quotes: "I just drove through water so fucking deep it went up over the hood" — Dave

  1. Gym & Workout
  2. Dave went to the gym, mentioning hip PT, squats, and deadlifts.
  3. Sam discusses her workout challenge and frustrations with the points system.
  4. Emotional register: proud, frustrated

  5. Notable quotes: "I did some hip PT/balance work, then squats and deadlifts" — Dave

  6. Dogs & Walking Routine

  7. Sam decides to walk the dogs separately, noting the difference in behavior.
  8. Emotional register: satisfied, amused

  9. Notable quotes: "I'm not doing it anymore. Oh my God, I'm hacking and coughing like normal so they're gonna say so." — Sam

  10. Chores & Errands

  11. Sam plans to shred documents, recycle an old laptop, and go to the farmer's market.
  12. Emotional register: pragmatic, slightly overwhelmed

  13. Notable quotes: "I'm obviously gonna do a lot of cleaning So yeah" — Sam

  14. Vibrator Discussion

  15. Sam and Dave discuss Sam's new vibrator, its features, and her difficulties finding the right settings.
  16. Emotional register: playful, curious, slightly frustrated

  17. Notable quotes: "I think it likely is! I just need more time with it." — Sam

  18. Food & Drinks

  19. Dave plans to order pizza from Joe's and pairs it with lime or strawberry Modelo and golden Oreos.
  20. Sam mentions having a vodka lemonade.
  21. Emotional register: indulgent, playful

  22. Notable quotes: "I'm pretty sure all 'Joe's' are local lol" — Dave

  23. Weight & Fitness

  24. Sam mentions gaining weight and feeling motivated.
  25. Dave jokes about being fat and hopes Sam gains weight so he doesn't feel bad.
  26. Emotional register: playful, supportive

  27. Notable quotes: "You’re looking swole af bruh" — Dave

  28. Christian's House Hunting

  29. Christian wants Sam to join him in looking at a potential new home.
  30. Sam feels a mix of emotions, including guilt and anxiety about their upcoming separation.
  31. Emotional register: anxious, guilty, reflective

  32. Notable quotes: "It’s the easiest breakup ever. Like we aren’t mad at each other. We get along fine. It’s weird" — Sam

  33. Leadership & Work

  34. Sam reads a leadership email that describes Christian's work behavior.
  35. Emotional register: frustrated, resigned

  36. Notable quotes: "Reading a leadership email and this describes Christian to a T at his work 😬" — Sam

  37. Future Plans & Anticipation

    • Both express excitement about seeing each other soon.
    • Emotional register: anticipatory, loving
    • Notable quotes: "EEEEEEE!!!! 🤗🥳 One more week and we will be CUDDLINGGGGG!!" — Sam

SEXUAL & PHYSICAL CONTENT - Sam discusses her new vibrator, mentioning it costs $175 and is having trouble finding the right settings, especially for internal stimulation. - Dave teases Sam about her bicep definition from her workout, calling her "swole af." - Sam playfully invites Dave to "grab and squeeze all you want" when they see each other next. - Dave mentions wanting to see Sam's "grabbable ass" soon.

EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS - Dave is playful and supportive, often teasing Sam affectionately. - Sam is open about her anxieties and insecurities, especially regarding her separation from Christian and her upcoming visit to look at a new home with him. - There is a strong sense of anticipation and longing for their upcoming reunion. - Dave provides emotional support and reassurance to Sam, helping her process her feelings about her separation from Christian. - The dynamic is mostly tender and supportive, with moments of playful flirtation and sexual teasing.

MEMORABLE LANGUAGE - "I just drove through water so fucking deep it went up over the hood" — Dave, describing his commute in the heavy rain - "I’m not doing it anymore. Oh my God, I'm hacking and coughing like normal so they're gonna say so." — Sam, on walking the dogs separately - "I think it likely is! I just need more time with it." — Sam, talking about her new vibrator - "You’re looking swole af bruh" — Dave, teasing Sam about her workout - "It’s the easiest breakup ever. Like we aren’t mad at each other. We get along fine. It’s weird" — Sam, reflecting on her separation from Christian - "EEEEEEE!!!! 🤗🥳 One more week and we will be CUDDLINGGGGG!!" — Sam, expressing excitement about seeing Dave soon - "Why am I so tired?! 😴" — Sam, playfully attributing her fatigue to being beautiful - "As long as that ass is grabbable 😋" — Dave, teasing Sam about her leg shingles - "Yes please!!! Grab and squeeze all you want 😍😍" — Sam, playfully inviting Dave to touch her - "Wiggle berry says goodnight" — Dave, referring to his pet affectionately - "I love you ❤️" — Sam, expressing her love for Dave - "I love you so so much 💕" — Dave, reciprocating Sam's affection - "I’m pretty sure all 'Joe's' are local lol" — Dave, joking about pizza places - "Disgusting lol" — Sam, reacting to Dave's food and drink choices - "It ain’t easy being beautiful" — Dave, playfully explaining Sam's tiredness

CONTINUITY HOOKS - Sam's visit to look at a potential new home with Christian and her anxieties about their separation. - The upcoming reunion between Sam and Dave, with only one week left until they see each other. - Sam's struggles with her new vibrator and Dave's interest in helping her find the right settings. - Sam's leadership email that describes Christian's work behavior, indicating potential future discussions about their dynamic.

MOOD MAP playful banter → practical planning → anxious reflection → tender anticipation → loving closure

================================================================================ INSIGHTS REPORT FOR 2026-04-04 Generated: 2026-04-17 12:02:18 Status: success Schema Version: 1.2.0 ================================================================================

METRICS

  • ⏱ Response Time --- Me→Them: 240s ↓9% vs 7d avg Them→Me: 257s ↓169% vs 7d avg

  • ✅ Conflicts & Repair --- Conflicts: 12 ↓ (avg 23.9 this week) Repair Rate: 100.0% →0% vs 7d avg Avg Recovery: 9.0 min ↑14% vs 7d avg

  • ⚖ Initiation --- Balance Ratio: 0.50 ↓26% vs 7d avg Cold Starts: 2 ↓ (avg 2.1 this week) 1 me / 1 them

  • ⚡ Velocity & Sessions --- High Velocity %: 97.1% →1% vs 7d avg Sessions: 32 ↑ (avg 27.0 this week) Avg Duration: 7.5 min ↓14% vs 7d avg

  • 💬 Message Volume --- Total Messages: 273 ↓ (avg 329.9 this week) From Me: 124 ↓ (avg 149.1 this week) From Them: 149 ↓ (avg 180.7 this week) With Signals: 265 ↓ (avg 319.1 this week)

SENDER COVERAGE

Sender Labeled / Total Rate Top Labels
Dave 124 / 124 100.0% status_update (48), humor (22), affection (16), encouragement (9), excitement (9)
Sam Willis 141 / 149 94.6% status_update (45), humor (28), affection (21), excitement (14), vulnerability (11)

DOMINANT LABEL

status_update

  • 🏷 Label Counts ---

    • status_update: 86 (avg score: 62%)
    • humor: 47 (avg score: 72%)
    • affection: 36 (avg score: 78%)
    • excitement: 23 (avg score: 77%)
    • emotional_support: 14 (avg score: 73%)
    • encouragement: 13 (avg score: 78%)
    • vulnerability: 13 (avg score: 71%)
    • frustration: 11 (avg score: 62%)
    • checking_in: 11 (avg score: 71%)

  • 🏷 Label Counts (cont.) ---

    • flirting: 7 (avg score: 74%)
    • request: 6 (avg score: 66%)
    • appreciation: 6 (avg score: 70%)
    • sexting: 5 (avg score: 87%)
    • planning: 4 (avg score: 62%)
    • deep_sharing: 2 (avg score: 65%)
    • disagreement: 2 (avg score: 57%)
    • boundary_setting: 1 (avg score: 60%)
    • passive_aggression: 1 (avg score: 56%)

ANOMALIES

Unusual Pattern

Avg Response Time Them To Me Seconds rose 169.4% above your 7-day average

Unusual Pattern

Deep Sharing dropped 71.4% vs 7-day average

Unusual Pattern

Encouragement surged 111.6% vs 7-day average

Unusual Pattern

Frustration dropped 67.9% vs 7-day average

PROVENANCE

Signals Prompt Version: signals.v2 Signals Model: unknown Rollup Computed At: N/A

================================================================================

Relationship Balance

Signal Flow Over Time

Conversation Topics